What Is And What Should Never Be

I guess I spoke too soon...silly silly me

Mr.E has been seeing the hot sexy neighbor during the days he wasn't in contact with me. They've gone to the movies. So I guess I'm the girl he uses for sex while hanging out with the neighbor doing "couple-stuff"...

He hasn't promised me anything, and I've told him I don't want to get serious...But I feel really hurt. And I'm thinking, why doesn't he take me to the movies?

I've just IM'd him. Asked him to think about the consequenses of us going too far. I mean he came over tonight to watch a movie and we're holding hands, cuddling, doing a bit of flirting.... I told him that we're in the same group of friends, and if it goes too far, if it gets too much, we still have to hang out, and what if it gets too much...

It's really hard. We're talking right now about what if we wouldn't see each other again. But he said that he'd miss me too much, and that if he'd move (he's thinking about travelling) the only person he'd really miss is me.

God, I don't know... What have we done? So we both have feelings for each other. He told me that he's only hanging out with his neighbor as friends, and I told him that it's really not about her, but us. And if he wants to get down and dirty with someone, maybe it shouldn't be with me anymore. Whatever feelings we have for each other will make things too complicated in the end.

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It's done. We're not seeing each other anymore. I'm taking him off my IM-list. No more Mr.E. No more sweet romantic notions. He's sad, and so am I. But I can't switch it off just like that. I've started having stronger feelings for him. Short but sweet, eh, guys? It never even started....

I hope he misses me and I hope he won't be able to be without me. But I know him, he's a guy, and guys switch on and off in a blink of an eye. I sometimes wish I lived in a romantic drama, because in the end the girl always ends up with the guy... Too bad that's not the case, eh?

Are You True?

Mr.E the bastard has been playing games with me! What an arse!! He came to the party I was at on Friday night. I knew he might be there, but I was hoping that he wouldn't show. I'd told my friend to pinch me if I acted immature and upset towards him, because I didn't want him to understand how angry I was. First thing I see as I walk in the room is him. He's leaning against the wall looking absolutely gorgeous. I say hi and walk past him and about 2 seconds later I can feel a pinch in the small of my back. I turn around and my friend is standing there looking angrily at me mouthing "be nice". I know I could've smiled, but hey, he's been avoiding me for a week...

So I'm the one trying to avoid him all night,but I'm being really nice to him and I'm smiling, talking and chit-chatting to him, just to get him to understand that "I'm not upset and I don't care if you're an arse". So, we get to the club and he gets me a shot but we don't really talk. I go to dance and he's just standing by the bar looking pissed off. After an hour he's gone and I just can't believe it!?!?... So, I send him a text. And I get one back straight away saying that some guy pissed him off and he's gone home. He asks me to come back to his, and after a bit of reassuring from my friend I go. She says I need to know why he's been so weird towards me.

I ask him why he's been avoiding me all week, and get this, he tells me he's just wanted to see what and if this means something to me too! I freak out a little telling him that we're just friends and then he freaks out and tells me he didn't mean it the way it sounded. And then we kiss. I guess that means he likes me, and he's been playing me on my own game... I'm just too scared to get hurt by a guy again so I play games, and now I've found out he's doing the same thing.

I stayed the night, we had breakfast, went out for lunch and for a walk. He came over to mine last night and watched a movie. And today he called to see if I wanted breakfast and said if I provide the tea, he'd get the bread.

We're not kissing or anything, and I really don't know where this is going. But I do know one thing...He's as unsure of me as I am of him, and it makes me feel a bit better if that makes any sense...?