Hurt

I don't know where to start. I went to a party last Friday with some friends who are not aquianted to Mr.E. Or so I thought. Now, thing is, my friend S has started to slowly date Mr.E's friend D.

S told me the night of the party that D had asked to come and to bring two friends. S of course asked him who his friends were. Not Mr.E. (Thank God).

So, got to the party, had a real great time. I'd brought one of my old friends from Secondary School with me who'd called me out of the blue the weekend before. I'd found out that he is now single again. (Fabulous!!)

As I was sitting there drinking my second glass of wine I could see S and D entering. Behind them was...Mr.E. S looked at me trying to mouth something to me but all I could see was him. How dare he? How dare he ruin my night?, was all I could think. Granted he looked nervous when he saw me. But he's the one who told me that I should go look for someone else. Then what is he doing here now? (S told me later that D had said to start with, that Mr.E was going out with some other guys, but as they went to pick up D's friends he'd told S that Mr.E was coming too. Out of the blue. When they boys got in the taxi the other two was annoyed that they were going to some dude's Birthday party, but Mr.E was adamant, he wanted to go.)

The rest of the night is somewhat a blur. Not due to drinking too much, but being so angry and humiliated. What he was doing there I will probably never find out....

He tried to talk to me and dance with me. I was having none of it. I was being nice and polite, not wanting him to see how it all affected me. But ever since I've been thinking why, why did he come? Does he have feelings for me? Is it all a game? But why would he attend a Birthday party of someone he doesn't even know if it's just a game to him? Why go through all that trouble?

I don't know. And part of me doesn't even want to know. But there is a teeny tiny bit of my heart that wonders: does he feel the same as I do?

Not that I want a relationship with him. I just wish that I wasn't alone in feeling like this. I just wish that he was hurting too. Just like me.