I know that I said that I am content with living in this little northern Swedish town, but I think I might have lied. I always planned to go back to London after finishing my degree. But since I've been back for 2 years now, and barely started a degree I'm starting to panic a little... The main reason for panicking is of course the fact that I'm having second thoughts about what I really want to do with the rest of my life.
The second reason is that I see myself getting stuck in the tiny teensy town with no real hopes for the future. Dead end job, dead end flat and dead end boyfriend. That's NOT how I pictured my life 10 years ago when I slowly started planning going to London for the first time. I was going to be someone!!! And I know that the only one who can change my life to what I want it to be, is me!!
But then there are my friends, who I'll miss soooo much if I do decide to go back to the fast pace of London. They used to live there with me, back when I first moved there. They know what it's like, how mesmerizing that city can be. I miss walking down The Strand, heading towards Covent Garden, sitting on the piazza sipping latté and watching the street performers there... I miss Richmond and my favourite pub, The Marlborough... I miss The Opera Tavern and celeb spotting... The only thing I missed when I was there was my friends!
I do enjoy Sweden, but in another way. I guess I'm just aching for what I knew back then. And someday I might just go back!!!
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2 comments:
I can totally relate to your situation. I am a suburban chic who is now living in big NYC, and often times I get homesick for my old town, missing all my friends and all the comforts of everything that I knew as I was growing up. But whenever I go back home, I realize that I now start to miss NYC also, and almost feel like coming home to my old town doesn't feel the same anymore, and it doesn't even feel like home either.
I guess no matter where we both end up, we're always going to be missing something somewhere else. Maybe the key is to just learn to be happy wherever we are.
You are soooo right! I just feel more at home in London. I guess it's because I "grew up" in London, and by that I mean that I became an adult there. Everything that we call Proper happened there. My first proper job, my first proper boyfriend, my first proper mature hangouts with my first proper mature friends.
I don't think I'll still be living here in 5 years, at least I hope I won't. But for now I'm going to stick it out. But beware for more moans and groans about living in the "outback". ;)
PS. Great to hear from you again and about your own thoughts!!!
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